Current River - 1/17

Some dastardly otherworldly forces are at work here.  I went to take a shower and despite cranking the hot water valve only frigid waters gushed forth.  After waiting a couple minutes, I turned the knob as blue as it would go.  Presto!  Hot water.  That prank was a little juvenile, but well played mansion, well played.

I only got 11 today.  My body is weakening from the constant felling and swamping—that hike up to the project site isn’t doing me any favors either.  My wrists in particular are making chainsaw work difficult as they just want to give out.  I’ll press on as I know this is good for me.  I mean, I am fatigued but I’ve already noticed my biceps have gotten larger within these past 4 days. Imagine what another 6 will do!

Enough of my woes though.  What do you all think about evolution?  I was toying with the idea of it being like leveling up.  Every so often your species, race, or gender would level up and consult with the DM, let’s say God, about what skills, attributes, or traits they can learn or enhance.  The monkeys claiming the opposable thumbs was a good call—really thought ahead and helped us out… or maybe they just thought the description sounded cool.  Just recently I have been won over by man’s ability to grow beards.  Whoever made that call, bravo, as these colder months would be utter misery without my +5 to saves vs cold.  Those dinosaurs though… choosing to learn advanced magicks… oi.  I hope casting Meteor to show off to that dashing triceratops across the watering hole was worth it.  This whole idea is farfetched, I know, but it is entertaining, no?

With that I will take my leave for the evening.  Good night everyone, feel free to send senzu beans my way if you have any extra lying around!

Following the leader is our leader in training, Liz.  It was I who pilfered these moments from time.

Current River - 1/16

I think I am allergic to gold plating or gold paint (or both).  I had Dalton’s gold scrench secured to my wrist for 15 to 20 minutes and I have since developed a very itchy rash in the same spot.  Non-coincidentally, my dress belt for half an age had gold paint on the buckle and I always had rashes appear in that area growing up.  The thing I’m worried about is that maybe I’m allergic to a particular metal as the metal on my belt out here also produces a minor irritation.  That would explain why rashes tend to appear more often in the colder months as I switch to longer pants that either require a belt or have a metal button.  Hopefully it is just the gold coating.  On the bright side, my shin is doing just fine!

I took down 20 Red Cedars today!  Technically it was more like 35, but we are only allowed to count our trees that are big enough for face cuts (4 inches in diameter).  My jump in production was due to me chainsawing for the majority of the day and I don’t think I will have that opportunity again, but we’ll see!  I’ve developed this interesting ability when it comes to felling Cedars—I call it the delayed fall.  Yesterday I had a good face cut and a pretty good back cut (2 quarter cuts) but the tree wouldn’t budge.  Both wedges were in and I was hesitant to saw anymore of the holding wood as there was next to none left, but it looked like that was what I was going to have to do.  So I had Brad, my look out, go and get my chainsaw more gas while I kept watch on the tree.  Right when he got back with the gas the tree went down.  Same sort of delay has happened to me twice since then.  Weird.  Maybe I am some kind of chainsaw demi-god.

Sorry all, I can’t stop thinking about how itchy my wrist is.  I will part you with this newsflash.  This just in, we have cut over 200 Red Cedars in 3 days.  We are getting things done!  Hope you are all doing well and I will write to you again soon if I don’t gnaw my hand off first.

Next up, our fearless leader: Dalton.  These moments in time were captured by me.  

Current River - 1/15

Tally another 15 trees for me!  Poor Red Cedars are between a rock and a hard place now that we’ve gouged the chinks in their armor to gaping holes.  At this rate I will hit the 100 mark before heading back to St. Louis.  Granted, I’ve been dealing with medium sized trees so far.  I tend to average about 5 face cut trees on a tank of gas; the way you know you have a big one is you go through a whole tank on a single Cedar like my buddy Brad did today.  But yeah, we’re rocking our service project and getting a good work out while doing it.  Life’s good!

My team thinks I am pretty funny.  While I am hesitant to accept such claims, I must admit I love making people smile and humor is a great way to do it.  So, I’ve decided to throw together Chris’ Comedic Clinic to give you a little insight as to how my mind works.  It’s pretty simple—to make someone laugh it helps to gather the 3 pieces of Stauff’s Comedic Triforce: the more you gather the more likely you will elicit a response from your friend.  The first piece is Callbacks; a callback is when you refer to something from earlier in the scene or show.  I had my friends roaring when I found a perfect moment to slide in a reference from our Cards against Humanity game the other night while we were eating dinner.  It isn’t exactly inappropriate, but I feel without the context or being there it wouldn’t be funny to share with you now… which brings us to the second piece, Knowing Your Audience.  For instance, a joke about our President to a crowd of die-hard Democrats might not be taken as well as, say, a Republican dominated audience.  And the final piece is the Element of Surprise.  I find that you need something to reel your targets in and for me catching them off guard has been extremely successful.  I will admit I probably have an easier time than most securing the final piece of my Comedic Triforce because I don’t talk often so when I do the unexpected outburst usually garners the room’s attention.

I guess it is time for bed.  My shin is a little tender due to a nasty prank pulled by the Red Cedars.  Remember those older cartoons or shows where there are two bullies and one pushes the victim over the other bully who is crouched down behind him/her?  Well, that is essentially what happened to me and then a log with a spiky stub of a branch rolled onto my leg.  As far as I can tell it just skinned me, but we’ll see if I develop some color come morning.  Night friends!

I'm going to take the photo slots for the next couple of entries to introduce you to Team Yellow.  This is Brad.  Photos taken by me.

Current River - 1/14

Still alive!  There was one eerie moment where I was looking at a map and several of the dots began to shift, but they ended up just being a bunch of lady bugs.  If I had crit missed on that perception check they would have been flesh eating scarabs so I’m glad the die was in my favor.  Through this skill challenge I also discovered that there is a town in Missouri called Knob Lick… how this will help us on our quest I am not sure, but it is interesting none-the-less.

After successfully navigating our way out the door our rolls took a drastic turn for the worst.  We failed a nature check… twice.  So we were equipped to handle a 60 degree day with an easy trail to our project site when in reality we faced temperatures in the high 30s, a light rain, and an intermediate climb up a 45-50 degree incline.  Being the Emergency Response Team, we made sure to buy and pack supplies that made us nearly impervious to the weather Missouri would throw our way, but that hike was a doozy.  Despite the detours we made it to our site in good time and proceeded to play the forest in a giant game of chess.

The forest of Current River State Park has a very defensive mind; almost every tree is defended by another if not three.  Unfortunately for it, my mind works similarly when it comes to playing such games.  With patience and mobility on our side we were able to take out the stragglers and weave our way through their front line.

The game has only just begun, but I personally put away 15 larger trees and an inconsequential number of smaller ones.  This forest uses a lot more than 16 pieces though.  One may call that cheating, but hey, it will make our victory all the sweeter.  Bed time!  My body is worn from chainsaw acrobatics and my mind has been tried by Cards against Humanity.  I won the card game, I think.  Dalton made a furious comeback, but I think I squeaked by.  Night friends, I wish you all natural 20s in your skill challenges to come.

Getting ready to start the day.  Photos taken by me.

Current River - 1/13

I may not be coming back from this 10 day.  The place we will be staying at in Current River State Park was described as a mansion.  Since when has there been a mansion where there wasn’t something sinister involved!?  Umbrella’s mansion unleashed the zombies via the T-virus, Shinra mansion unraveled Sephiroth’s remaining sanity that, in turn, brought about cataclysmic events…  Tragedy oft befalls the characters who interact with these structures, but we are not mere characters, we are AmeriCorps—a group that specializes in getting things done!  You know what, I take back what I said earlier; I will be coming home, it is just a matter as to what manner I will be returning.  Triumphantly is the hope!

It may seem like misfortune has fallen upon me and the rest of the crew, but that is only due to a lack of internet connection and cell phone reception.  Our project site and HQ are dead zones so we are more or less cut off from the rest of the outside world.  Not to worry though, the place we are staying at is amazing.  We all have our own bedrooms, bathrooms, and enough lounging space that would leave most fraternities envious.  Combined with an awesome crew and superb views, I feel like I am on vacation more so than out serving our country.

We are here on a mission, however.  Our team, team yellow, has been tasked with ridding the Current River State Park of Red Cedars.  This requires traversing and cutting on significant inclines, which is a safety hazard, sure, but I’d take a dry glade with fluctuating temperatures over a wet and cold glade like my last project any day.  I didn’t personally do any cutting today, but I swamped and helped find a bar nut that came off of a chainsaw.  The wielder of said chainsaw was confident that the search was hopeless due to all of the fallen foliage, but I have this knack for finding things… unless I’m the one who loses them.  Think I would be Seeker material in the magical world of Harry Potter?

Couple of shots taken by yours truly around the mansion.

ACSTL HQ - 1/8ish

The past couple of days have kind of melded together.  Dan Burch’s group headed out on Tuesday to Cape Girardeau, but finding a spot for the rest of us with this weather has been problematic.  Sooo, taking advantage of our time in the area we have been cleaning and reorganizing whatever we can get our hands on in the ACSTL HQ.  We’re also regularly taking up shifts at the Warming Shelter, which has been fun.  Half the people staying here have more advanced phones than I do—they’re watching movies on them and everything.  Maybe once I’ve concluded my affairs with AmeriCorps I will finally upgrade… but for now I think the tank of a phone I have is better suited for our rugged work as it is much less likely to break.

I am actually at the Shelter right now.  It is nearing 3:30am and surprisingly I am not the only night owl here.  I count at least 10 individuals that are looking to outlast me.  Sorry guys, I may be getting old, but my time spent in college, not to mention my extensive time spent gaming, has more than prepared me for moments like these.  *flexes*  It is nice to have someone to talk to though so I will settle for a tie if you really, really want to… but I would take advantage of a nice warm bed if I were you as I think I will be doing so when I return home.

It’s about time for me to do my rounds to make sure all is well, so an early good morning to you all!  At the moment it looks like my group will be heading out to Current River on Monday for a 10 day.  I will let you know if that changes.  Later!

The Return to St. Louis - 1/5

I felt like I was being Fus Ro Dahed by an army of Dragonborn all the way back to St. Louis.  My visibility at its best was seeing the silhouette of the 4th car in from of me; at its worst, I couldn’t see beyond my windshield.  It was like I was sailing in a phantom sea with how the snow washed over and slammed into my poor Cadillac.  The snow chased the vehicles in front of me like the great white serpents illustrated on the maps of old and the constant cascade of the white substance resulted in a fitting fog-like setting for the voyage.  This adventure definitely got the adrenaline pumping as I passed a number of wrecks and was even sandwiched between two crashes for what must have been 2 hours, but I managed to navigate my way back in one piece and am now preparing for what new adventures are about to come my way.

From what I have gathered, due to the extreme cold (as low as -30 including the wind chill) and all of the snow, most of our teams are not being dispatched for a couple of days.  I know I am on Dalton’s team and that we will be heading to Current River, but that’s the extent of my knowledge.  Oh, and we most likely will be leaving Thursday or Friday and return the following Thursday or Friday.  In the mean time we will be helping out in the Warming Shelter and around the city as needed.  I will keep you all posted!  For now I am going to head to bed, but before I do, a big shout out to my fellow Spartans that were recently over in Pasadena where we made our first Rose Bowl appearance in over 2 decades AND WON!!  Huge accomplishment guys!  Depending on how the rest of the Bowl games play out we may end up as the number 2 team in the nation—an unfathomable feat for a team that was unranked at the season’s start.  Ok, good night all.  Stay warm and be safe!

Both pictures were taken from the Michigan State Spartans Facebook page.  The first shot is the crucial play that won the game for the Spartans.